“Am I a good parent?” The Question that has no real answer….
It is my opinion that if you have ever asked yourself this question, that means you are a good parent…or at least, a conscientious one (which makes you a good parent!) I have asked this question on many occasions and I usually come back with the answer of,
“You’re not perfect, but you got this!”
What makes a good parent anyway? Well, in my opinion…Patience (or at least as much as you can muster in a tense situation..lol), is a good start!
Unconditional Love, Compassion, Acceptance, Humility, etc. are also traits commonly found in what is considered to be a Good Parent. I’m sure I could extend that list, but these rank at the top.
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Sometimes, I feel like I’m pushing too hard for the communication aspect between me and my son. He did just hit the teenage years and boy, has he changed somewhat overnight. It isn’t extreme so to speak, but we have certainly noticed a few personality/attitude ticks he has developed in just the last year. I suppose, if we are really honest, the ticks were there all along and they just finally came to light.
Anyway, I do try to remain vigilant about asking what may be going on in my son’s life. He isn’t always forthcoming right away, but if I throw it out there that I’m willing and interested in hearing about his life (at school, regarding friends, games, opinions on the world, etc), he does a fair job at keeping an open line of communication with me.
He and his dad have a different type of communication…“Man Speak.” It works for them.
Humility…
We as the parents, don’t always have the best idea or solution to a problem. We involve him in decision-making regarding virtually anything having to do with our little family, and certainly when it comes to his own personal life. While we may not always agree with his wishes, we try to at least gain perspective on why he feels the way he does about something.
Sometimes, he enlightens us and we conclude his idea of how something should be done, is actually best. If we firmly disagree with his view, as the adults with more life experience than him, we are at least more informed on how to better explain why our way is best, in a fashion he might understand. Generally speaking, he gets it.
Compassion…
Whenever he has been angry or even has a bit of a tantrum, I try to put myself in his shoes. My feelings no longer matter in those scenarios so much, unless he really hurt my feelings (quite rare, thankfully). Even then, I try to hear him out and suggest a better way to approach something with me in the future, so there are no hard feelings at the end of the day. I remember what I was like as a teenager and well, we’re just beginning this stage, from a parent perspective. I have to accept he has his own perspective and feelings. We need to simply talk it out and come up with a better way. I, as the parent, have to have compassion when he is experiencing an unhappy situation. And finally, I have to show him, regardless of my own feelings on a particular subject, love and nurturing.
Acceptance & Unconditional Love…
When our children feel accepted, they become more confident, brave, and accepting of others, in return. We as parents are the first impression our children get, of Acceptance. Guiding them without judgement, helps them to achieve their own sense of strength and identity. They aspire to be more, without fear of rejection.
Side Note…
Parenting is tough, to say the least. No, you may not get that “Parent Of The Year” award. However, do you really need it, based on on outside view of what a good parent should be? Of course not! At the end of the day, if you feel you are doing everything in your power to provide the care your child needs and overall, your child seems well balanced, tempered, and willing to learn about the many aspects of life, you’re doing great! All of the little bumps in the road are just temporary.
As long as you keep an open mind and heart when it comes to guiding them on their path, the relationship you end up developing with your child in the long run, should be the reward in of itself.
My Final Thoughts…
If your kids see happy adult(s) raising them, there is likely to be a little less stress for them. And, it gives them a better idea as to what they might want for their future relationships! Let them see spontaneity, laughter, harmony amongst the adults in charge. Kids are like sponges…they soak it all up! “Monkey See, Monkey Do”.
Part of being a Good Parent is to show them all the good things life has to offer, even when things aren’t perfect. A random act of joy goes a long way after all!
Thank you for very useful parenting tips. I do not have children myself but I babysit once a week and I will definitely use your advice. Thank you!
Thanks for reading! You may want to check out my articles on kids board games (https://spicyrockingchair.com/25-indoor-family-party-board-card-games-for-kids-teens-adults/) and kids movies (https://spicyrockingchair.com/20-best-modern-family-kids-movies-to-watch-2023/). Ideas for your babysitting moments 🙂