As the end of summer break looms over our heads in the ever so near future, we parents are doing a couple of the same things all at once.
First, we are trying to squeeze every last moment of possible relaxation into our daily lives before we have to return to a more strict and chaotic daily schedule.
Second, we are trying to wrap our heads around a new routine that works for everyone this year. Every year is different.
As we parents are trying to work through our lead up to the back to school season, the kids are doing their own two things.
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The Kids And Their Lead Up Struggles
First, they are also trying to squeeze every fun moment in, that they can before school starts… which translates to earlier bed times and long days of challenging work.
The second thing they are doing is fretting.
They are experiencing anxiety over new teachers, new classmates, worries over getting to new classrooms, whether or not they get to see their best friends during lunch, and so on.
Even The Best Of Us Need Encouragement
I learned quickly only last week, just how much anxiety my Sophomore son might be experiencing this year. I thought since back to school is on the horizon and kind of top of mind for all of us at the moment, I would throw up a post of some good light hearted back-to-school memes for both parents and kids.
When I mentioned it to my son, I got snarly face…Lol! How quickly one looses their sense of humor when school is mentioned!
My son is actually really good about school, responsibilities, handling stress, and all that good stuff.
Even so, he needs a bit of encouragement when it comes to transitioning into a new school year.
I thought I would share with you, some of the things we begin putting in place about 2-3 weeks before the first day of school, just to create a sense of normalcy among the chaotic bits.
Addressing The Upcoming School Year Routine
We don’t have a big conversation about the new school year, exactly. We casually just start mentioning here or there, something we have to attend to over the next few weeks.
I mentioned my meme post last week. It was my way of introducing the subject, without making it some big long talk.
As we are taking care of laundry, we might quickly mention how we have to go through his closet and see what he might need in terms of clothing and shoes.
A few days later, we might take a moment to go to him and say, “Ok buddy, we need you to take 30 minutes to help us go through your clothes and see what fits or doesn’t, what needs replacing, all that good stuff. Let us know when we can do this over the next couple of days.”
We generally get a good response, because…
First, it’s low key. No major pressure, just something we need to start looking at.
Second…although the subject has been approached, we are treating him with respect on his dwindling summer time break. At the same time, we are asking him to cooperate with our time line as well.
Moving Along…
From there, we will usually grab a couple of things from the store or Amazon that we know he won’t have to try on or give major opinions on. Maybe it’s a shirt we know will fit him, and he will love. Maybe it’s just some new stylus tips.
Regardless…letting him know we took care of a couple of minor things that will be showing up at the door soon, get’s him kind of relaxed about it all.
Not to mention, kids love new things and surprises. If they don’t have to do anything but accept the new stuff, we’re up a point on the scoreboard!
Anyway, we just kind of pace it. It’s perhaps a slower introduction to it all, but it works.
Especially for boys who hate trying on clothes at the store!
This approach seems to make it easier on that one 3 hour trip to the store where he does actually have to try things on.
Back To School Night
We always make time for Back To School Night every single year, even if one of us parents can’t go. It’s just good practice for you and your kids to meet the teachers they will be dealing with for the new school year.
The edge gets taken off a bit for the kids, as they can put a face and vibe to the teachers of their classrooms.
You as the parent, can do the same. It makes communication a little easier with the teachers if you can size them up ahead of time!
Creating A Morning Routine
I know…a lot of folks will say be super strict on the bedtime and morning wake up times about 2 weeks in advance. We have tried that approach. That’s not what’s best here, exactly.
We start mentioning about 2 weeks before first day, how our schedules will be changing soon. It’s about 7-10 days before that we start getting strict about it.
He’s had more than enough time to grasp that school is about to start. 7-10 days before, it’s time to get down to business. And we mean it.
Our boy will instantly turn into superman trying to do what he is told. Bed is at 10pm. Wake up is at 5:15.
Although the bus stop is a 2 minute drive, he feels the need to be up 1hr 15 minutes before take off.
Why? He gets to chat with his friends for 30-40 minutes before it’s time to leave. It’s a good start to his day and I’m okay with it.
Besides, mom and dad get to enjoy a cup of coffee, while tying up loose ends on lunch packing!
Creating A Breakfast Routine
Breakfast does not need to be difficult at all. I discovered in over thinking how much my kid needs to start the day off, I was creating a bigger problem.
My son is a super picky eater. If your kid is one as well, keep it stupid simple.
Nutrition bars, muffins, pop tarts, and delicious yogurt snacks are best. Sometimes, we just do a bowl of his favorite fruit if it’s in season.
More often than not, my kid will choose one of the nutrition bars over anything else. Just make sure they are the good ones. Here are a few links for some healthy, but yummy choices on that end.
If muffins or pastries are the way to go, throw a quick batch in while preparing dinner the night before. Let them cool and leave them in a container on the kitchen counter.
We usually deliver his breakfast boost to him with his preferred drink in the morning, within 5-10 minutes of him waking up. If he doesn’t eat the bar before leaving the house, he has about 5 minutes between getting in the car and the bus shows up, to eat the bar.
Last year we were a little more on his tail about eating something before getting on the bus, because we knew lunch time for him would be 5 hours away.
No one wants to be Hangry. Can’t concentrate in that mode!
The After School Routine
After school is pretty simple around here. When our son gets home, he’s hungry, as many kids are. He just spent so many hours using his brain. He needs food before anything else.
We will have a snack ready for him within 15-20 minutes of him getting home. We give him about an hour or so of just decompress time. He gets that time to hop on with friends, catch up on the game, and take a moment to himself.
Within 2 hours, it’s homework time. That might take an hour, but it’s out of the way. He then has another 90 minutes or so to do what he wants, before it’s dinner time. Shower time comes within an hour or so after that. An hour or so later, it’s bed time.
It’s all about judging your own kids and knowing what keeps them happy, yet motivated at the same time. We find keeping a somewhat active schedule through the weekday evenings, keeps him going through the tasks that need to be done.
That’s a normal day, with no additional activities to worry about.
After School Activities
This one can be tough, but not so much around here.
My son is really musically inclined. Last year, he did both, band and choir. He’s been doing choir for 7 years now. Last year was the first for Band. He also had a Jit Jitsu meeting once a week.
He got overwhelmed by it all. He hated the fact that his last choir performance was much longer than usual.
Why? It was the last performance for seniors involved. They did a huge shout out for those kids. I loved it…though after 3 hours, I was done. My husband was feeling the same.
A few days earlier, my son had attended the graduation ceremony itself, as a mandated performance. He was at school from 7am until about 9pm.
Needless to say, when the last choir performance was finished, my son was one grouchy young man when leaving the school.
We tried to explain that in 3 years, he will be the one honored and that we should respect that.
He heard nothing we said that night. The ride home was very quiet.
He finally came around to understanding, after the night was over.
Over the last several months, he has embraced his Jit Jitsu classes. His music inclination is still there. This year though, he decided on the two activities he’s into the most.
He’s maintaining the choir and Jit Jitsu, but skipped on Band. He is not feeling that one…lol!
Homework Time
I’m not going to lie…homework is something we do have to stay on our son, about.
We have a program that allows us to check his assignments and grades as we choose. I have a personal parental portal so we can keep track of what he IS or NOT doing.
If your school offers that, sign up for it!
I don’t spy on my kid exactly. We trust him and he knows it.
I’ve given him the talks of, “Hey come to me if you need help with anything. If I don’t have the answers, we will find a tutorial to help.”
He also knows I have the ability to check his assignments when I want. It just keeps him on track a bit.
If I see something concerning on the parental portal, I’ll approach the subject about how I may have struggled with it in my own high school career, while asking about his day.
He doesn’t know I’ve looked at the portal.
More often that not, it may take a minute, but he will come to us and express his frustrations with the subject at hand. When he talks to us, we listen and have a better understanding on what we can look up for help.
Yes, we’ve done Youtube plenty if mom and dad are a little out of the loop on the subject.
It’s all about the listening, giving our boy the opening to express his frustrations. As parents, we can then better determine what might be useful even when we don’t understand the subject ourselves!
Creating a Dinner Routine
I don’t know about your family, but my family usually has dinner around 6:30 or 7pm during the school year. With after school decompress, homework, shower time, snack time, activities, etc., we need to keep a solid dinner schedule for everything else to flow nicely.
Maybe a couple of weekdays, you can’t quite keep to the normal dinner schedule. That’s okay! Adjust and maybe even make a chart for your child (and yourself) that lays out clearly when dinner will be served on those more hectic nights of the week.
When dinner time rolls around, electronics go off. Period.
If for no other reason, than we need a minute to communicate with our son about his day, and maybe even serve up a lesson from our own work day that he can utilize in life.
It’s family time. Mom says. It only 20-30 minutes anyway, right?
During the hectic months, it’s hard enough to even get time with your kids. If you are as liberal as we are about giving them their Me Time, then they need to respect the one thing mom and dad need…
Quick Catch Up Time.
Creating A Shower Routine
I must say, shower time only became easier in the last 3 years. My son was at that in between stage of early teenage life where he just didn’t care much to step away from friends to take showers. We devised a plan that just for some reason, took hold.
We drilled in that 9:30-10pm is bed time and it would be best if he took his shower at 8:00-8:30pm. That way he has another hour or so to hop back on and accomplish his game mission with friends.
Now… when 8:30pm rolls around, everything stops, and he’s in the bathroom. Shower time.
The Bedtime Routine
Like I said, about 2 weeks before the first day of school, we start honing down on bedtime.
It might be a comment such as, “Alright kiddo… any of your late night gaming goals you want to accomplish in your groups, you should get them taken care of over the next couple of days. We need to start going to bed earlier.”
He will take his couple of days to squeeze it all in, AND typically be more ready for that 5am alarm clock on the first day, than we are!
Again…Respect, Empathy, Understanding, and an overall Relatable Approach goes a long way. This can be quite different for younger children. I am dealing with a 15 year old after all, and you know your children best.
Weekend Family Time
While family time is important, we try not to overwhelm with weekend activities. Depending on our situation, we ask for at least a few hours or an afternoon of his time on the weekends. He’s got stuff to do too!
If you approach it as you valuing their time, they will likely recognize your efforts and not be so grumpy about hanging with their oh-so-boring parents.
As of a Thursday, we start with the, “Hey, it’s been a long week. Wanna go out for lunch Saturday or Sunday? Get out of the house for a minute”
“Ok.”
4 hours later, he comes back with an idea of where he wants to go…plans are beginning to take shape.
It’s always best when they come up with the Family Time Idea. We don’t let him out of it once the plans have been made, though!
Boom. Done. Respect. Consideration. Family Closeness. All of the things.
Final Thoughts: Tweak the approach as you need to!
As a good parent, you already what makes your kids happy, sad, anxious, and just comforted. While I know what works in my household, you know your own.
If humor doesn’t work, don’t use it. If strict guidelines work, use it to your advantage!
The more time you take to talk to your child (even just in passing, quirky comments) and get to know his/her frustrations, fears, joys, and what have you..the better equipped you are to help them through the school months.
At the end of the day, the Back To School weapons you should have in your arsenal:
Support
Understanding
Empathy
Encouragement
Communication
Praise for what they are doing beautifully
These are the keys to help establish a Back to school transition that works for them and you. That goes further than anything they will ever learn in school. True story.
