Family Comes First Mindset Motto Is A Way Of Life

We have all heard the phrase, “Family First”. What does it really mean, though? In my mind, it means your family should come first when it really matters. Of course, everyone has a different opinion as to what qualifies as “when it really matters”. Every family is different and has a different set of standards, needs, expectations, etc. So what does the phrase really mean?

I don’t believe it means you should give up any hobby or favorite keep sake just because a family member is annoyed by it or can’t understand it. It doesn’t mean you should always skip that Saturday your boss asked you to come in for, in order to get an important project done by a deadline. (The occasional overtime never killed anyone.) It doesn’t mean you should ignore your own feelings, thoughts, or beliefs, for any family member.

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It means that when a family member really is in need of a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on, you should put them before other less significant things. And yes, sometimes it means you may have to sacrifice a bit in order to help that family member. It may even cause you emotional pain, to help. Will your help make a significant difference to your family? If the answer is yes and their hardship is alleviated enough without you sacrificing the most important things to you at the same time…then, Family First.

A Reminder…

I was reminded of my belief in this motto this week, once again. It’s not the first time, and I know it won’t be the last time I have ever had to do a bit of reflecting on what the phrase means to me. Or how much we are willing to sacrifice for a loved one, to alleviate some sort of discomfort or pain in their lives.

First let me say…family does not necessarily mean blood related. There have been many beautiful souls that have touched our lives over the years. Some of them most certainly have qualified as family, in our minds. A few of them have even needed our help when they couldn’t turn to anyone else. None of them asked for help…we just knew we needed to step up and do what had to be done. Sacrifice has always been made, but the ultimate outcome was always what was best for our loved one. And those situations have always reaffirmed what I believe the phrase to mean.

All Hands On Deck…

As usual, we were tested a bit with the current Family First dilemma. And as usual, it involves a lot of unknowns at the moment. We are still stepping up, because it is the right thing to do. It will cause a bit of discomfort, but this one really is an All Hands On Deck situation.

My son’s best friend, Alley, is a little girl he has known since the second grade. Over the years, we have gotten to know the family very well and the Alley has become like an adopted daughter to us. She and my son literally act like brother and sister…well, with not so much “sibling rivalry” if you will. Regardless, she and her uncle (Gaurdian), both have become like family. As with most families (or friends), we have alternated between supervision and taking the kids places they love. It’s always been a team effort between us adults, to give the kids time to hang out as most best friends like to do.

However, recently things have changed for their family… quite substantially. Apparently, the uncle has more serious health issues than we knew about. He was initially admitted to the hospital a couple of weeks ago for an infection stemming from a cut. Until 7 days ago, we assumed he was going to be released from the hospital and life would go on. Boy, were we clueless!

Not only did we find out about his other health issues, but we found out the uncle would not be released anytime soon. In fact, their whole family began scrambling to plan for his passing. Wow! Didn’t see that coming.

It Gets Worse…

The more information that trickled out over the next several days, the more heart broken we became for their family. That little girl’s whole world was falling apart in the blink of an eye. Her uncle has been the only stable person throughout her entire life and there is no family nearby to help.

All of her aunts live in various states and only one is capable of taking care of her. That one aunt lives clear across the country. This of course, means a lot of change for Alley. Not only is she leaving all of her friends behind, but she won’t be close enough to visit her uncle in the hospital. Her dad lives a few states away and she tends to stay with him through the summer months. That will be hard to do if she moves across country. The high school she is set to attend next year with all of her friends, is out the door. What a hot mess.

A Bit Of Good News…

Over the last couple of days, the uncle has improved somewhat and the family is hoping to move him into a rehabilitation center to fully recuperate, in the near future.

The best news we have heard in days!

Like I said, they have both become family to us.

In the meantime, the one aunt who lives across the country, has been staying at their house to try to get everything in order. She has a job to get back to. The last I heard yesterday, Alley would be flying back to her aunt’s home in New Mexico to stay for an undecided amount of time, any day now. The story keeps changing minute by minute, it seems. No one really seems to know what to do, and no one thought the uncle would survive until just a day or so ago. Very bad situation all the way around.

Needless to say, we have been trying to figure out how to help. We don’t know any of the aunts involved, and have been afraid of stepping on their toes. My husband and I have thrown around a couple of suggestions we could offer up for help. However, it was only yesterday that we fully came to a final solution we were willing to throw out. As mentioned earlier, these types of situations do take some thought, and are never easy to come to a final decision on.

The Proposal…

We decided we are willing to let our young friend take the spare room in our home, for as long as need be. We were both feeling it a couple of days ago, but weren’t quite sure if we could commit. Deciding to commit was just the first step. Pitching it to the aunt we don’t know and seems to be fully in charge of things at the moment, was the intimidating part. She doesn’t know us…why on earth would she even consider such a thing, especially without knowing day by day what will happen next? I can’t say I blame her…can you?

I’m so glad I got over that doubt I was having, and gave the aunt a call. I caught her on her way out, to fly back home. I guess another family member was scheduled to pick Alley up for a few days and send her out west in the near future. However, that family member unexpectedly came down sick. The aunt was quite relieved by my offer, and so we will have a house guest for a moment at least.

Final Thoughts…

I don’t know what will come after this. Alley may only stay with us for a few weeks. She may be here longer. It doesn’t matter. We will manage, as we always do. At the end of the day, I am glad my husband and I agree when it comes to one very important belief.

Family First.

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